yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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