Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
