girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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