Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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