Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
