Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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