She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
