Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
