ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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