I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
