I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The best revenge is premature balding
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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