Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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