I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
