If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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