I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
A+ Viking dick
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
