Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize