You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
