Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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