Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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