i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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