You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
