Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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