dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
