dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We need to get me chipped asap
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
