I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm at about main and main street
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
