Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
