I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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