oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
