she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
