Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes