Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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