he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize