She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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