I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
