actually, I'm a sock model
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
