is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
