I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize