I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
