He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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