I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
