So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
