so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
