Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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