Do you still have your period?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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