i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
