I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize