I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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