PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
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Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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