Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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