Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize