i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
