He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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