Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
