i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
