If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
