yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
