Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
