That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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