Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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