oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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