Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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