pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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