he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
