whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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