why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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