At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
