I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
