I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
